Day 63: Go Write A Blog About It! The Blog As Couples Therapy

6,300 things gone, only 3,700 to go

All of a sudden, Squirrel has started leaving different types of piles around the house for me.

These are for recycling.

And these are for donating.

Anyone who has been following my Squirrel knows, this marks a huge departure from his bucket days. It’s true, he’s come a long way, or, I should say, we’ve come a long way.

Any couple knows that navigating shared space is tricky. Especially if you have fundamentally different opinions on where to store Power Bars (him: the ottoman, me: the kitchen).

There were red flags of course. Snacks in the magazine rack. Four year old frozen vegetables in the freezer. His Dad’s old jock strap in the dresser drawer.

I guess I’m reading this Lifescript article way too late:

There has to be some acceptance of the idiosyncrasies if sharing a home is going to work.

The truth is we both stubbornly held off on acceptance for a very long time. Each of us nagging the other endlessly over such things as his wet towels on the bed or where I put my keys.

Lifescript has some advice on this too:

When you truly love your partner enough, these small quirks and pet peeves become irrelevant over time or even something to laugh about.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Lifescript. Really? We added two kids and a move to the mix and 12 years later these small quirks became big buckets of wasted stuff and expensive mistakes ($250 for a new key fob).

It really wasn’t until I started blogging about it that I could begin to appreciate the humour in our situation. Photographing the quirks, cataloguing the pet peeves, tempering my frustration with (a little) kindness. I could have called him a packrat after all! I really began to let off some steam. And, if the new type of piles are any indication, I think we’re finally communicating.

If only I read this pertinent tip 12 years ago:

There are two Cs that will lead to a lot less stress in your new adventure together: communication and compromise.

Even so, it still may have taken us 12 years to discover our own unique way of communicating.

Just the other day, Squirrel was pointing out a few little things (blow dryer, hair clip, elastic band) that I left on his dresser while I was rushing out to cover a sales call he couldn’t make because he was mountain biking in the Chilcotins. I simmered for a moment – then replied:

If it bothers you that much, go write a blog about it!

What I tossed today: I donated and/or tossed 100 more toys, parts, and pieces.

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3 thoughts on “Day 63: Go Write A Blog About It! The Blog As Couples Therapy

  1. “There has to be some acceptance of the idiosyncrasies if sharing a home is going to work.”

    They make it sound so easy. For me, dealing with domestic compromises/ division of labor is one of the hardest things about relationships.

    “If it bothers you that much, go write a blog about it!”

    Perfect!

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