(my oldest, in the air)
Here’s what I’m telling myself:
When I move to Whistler I will:
- cook more
- do yoga
- make the kids turn off their iPods
- ride my bike
- start my writing career (doesn’t that sound cheesy – I mean, who just decides to start a writing career)
- walk everywhere
- shop less
- worry less
- start back to work a few hours a week
- spend more time with Squirrel
- train the kids to sleep in their own beds all night
Here’s the truth:
None of that is going to happen if I don’t start now.
But, I’m getting ready to put our house on the market! I have to power wash, mow the lawn, organize my drawers, wash the walls, weed the garden and fluff the pillows. I have to worry, feel guilty, exhaust myself and get ill. I have to counsel the kids, apologize to the neighbours, scream at Squirrel, meet with the realtor, stage the house and sell on Craigslist.
I’m a busy girl, don’t you know.
Or, maybe I’m just anxious and that anxiety is causing me to micro focus on shit that doesn’t really matter. Unfortunately, that anxiety moves with me.
I guarantee there will be new dramas to micro manage in Whistler. Unpacking, settling in, getting used to a new school and new neighbours, making new friends, finding part-time work.
These things are all inherently stressful and require a great deal of energy, but it’s my anxiety about them that really exhausts me.
The truth is there’s no reason I can’t:
- do a five minute meditation every morning
- throw down a sun salutation while I’m packing or playing with the kids
- go back to my simple rice, pasta, two veggie dinner plan
- start a simple, private blog for my children’s chapter book and type a sentence or two a day
- ease the kids back into a bedroom routine
None of this requires any more energy than my anxiety is sucking out of me. And, maybe if I lay the groundwork, I’ll take a little less fear and a little more focus with me when we make our move at the end of the summer.
What little thing are you telling yourself you can’t start right now?
I couldn’t help but think – when you move to Whistler, we are going to miss you!
I miss you already and we’re not even gone. You will have to come for a weekend. Weekend rent is only one Mike-made meal. See, I’m already trying to get out of cooking.
It’s not cheesy – that is how writing careers start (anything we do actually) deciding to to do it and then actually doing it – really though you have already started your writing career and will just continue it in Whistler, or not.
I keep on thinking I can’t possibly start folding that pile of laundry right now, ha ha. Actually I often wonder when I’m really going to get around to things involving personal self care (yes, the yoga!) I know I shouldn’t do that, and that there will always be a bunch of things that need done and putting off the things I love to do just frustrates me. Good luck with your home sale!
pick 1–do it for 3 days and add another. you mastered the biggest project of all-you can do the rest with your hands tied behind your back. hugs….
I know, I’m so happy that I don’t have a whole bunch of Squirrely things to sort through. I think the fact that I’ve already dealt with the mess makes it easier to even contemplate doing the rest. I forgot the most important thing of all though – get together with my girlfriend!
I liked your comment about quickly throwing down a sun salutation when you have five spare minutes. There’s so much that we can get done in tiny sinppets of time if we just keep our priorities straight. I want to finish my goodreads list before we have our first baby and I have practically no time to read. I need to start now! Great post.
I was procrastinating sealing our door. Well, 2 years later, I finally did it
Better late than never, right?
I’m finally getting this place in tip top shape because we’re selling it. Who knows when I would have gotten around to it otherwise!
“Worry less” I think that should be number one on the list!
Agreed. Squirrel thinks I’m behaving like a wound up little Sheltie. He should start a blog.
Christine, I feel your pain. I’m coming to realize that unless there is something to truly hold me accountable for completion (or at least attempt) I might not actually do more than just exist and breathe. I’ve found myself walking around making mental lists to-dos, get fired up to get them to-done, then take the next logical step in the process of starting something new… I start planning. Not surfing the web… Planning!! Thus, my mental list of to-dos flourishes and my to-dones whither.
(When I started the 4th paragraph of this comment I realized that I shouldn’t muck up your awesome post and moved my comments home. I hope you will come read the rest.)
I will come read the rest! At least you have to-dos, sometimes I don’t even have those. : )
You’ve already started a writing career. No need to begin, just continue on.
Sending good vibes for a sale and finding the perfect home in Whistler.